People marry with high expectations of the future, but making it happen can take practical guidance. Hard work and common sense can keep a marriage together through all sorts of hardships. Consider these five bits of newlywed advice on developing a healthy marriage.
1) Always keep conflicts fair
It is inevitable that couples will argue with each other. As tensions flair, there is the tendency to bicker and even slam doors in each others’ faces. This is a natural tendency, but the defensive behaviour is counterproductive. Always remember you are human and try to think about your partner’s needs. An expert called Tatkin advises searching for solutions that satisfy both partners. Too much stress means that it is time to take a break and prevent escalation. A funny word might stand in for “Truce!” Calling this can be a signal to take a breather.
2) Have eye contact every day
Looking into each others’ eyes is a sign of affection and favour. New couples spend a whole lot of time looking at each other. Two people walking down the aisle look at each other intently. Eye contact is a sincere way to connect. Looking at each other every day is one way to keep the sense of connection together. This simple habit might preserve a marriage.
3) Have loads of fun together
While married couples still like to go on formal dates like they use to, there are many practical ways to share interests and life together. Gardening is a fun activity that beautifies the yard and can consume hours of time. Hiking is a way for two people to be alone together. Taking painting lessons together can also be unique. Emma Seppala is a PhD and a science director for the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education. She insists that strong couples regularly share new interests and actives.
Shared challenges are a natural way to bond, and real intimacy can be found in the simplest activities such as exercise and discussing a book. Learning a new skill encourages a lot of cooperation as can delving into spirituality together. A couple from Indiana, Alex and Joy, very much agree with this sentiment. They joined a dodgeball team for adults and found it very enjoyable. They were able to be teammates like in youth and even made new friends. Alex and Joy also camp out together, which is something they did not practice before marriage. They love watching the stars together.
4) Do some things alone
Emma and John, a couple from Philadelphia, each wrote unique marriage vows. They both resolved to provide time for personal space. Every person needs personal time to take care of their interests. A little time apart can keep people together. Anything that promotes personal happiness can contribute to happiness as a couple, so Emma Seppala suggests. Women in particular need to be happy to love well. Free time permits personal accomplishment while also creating a longing for a partner.
5) Eliminate previous relationships
Human jealousy is not a phenomenon of the past. Staying in contact with an ex, even for conversation, can still create a sense of competition. There is no need to be hostile to an ex, just to create some respectful distance for the sake of the person who ought to be the centre of life. April Masini is a relationship expert and recommends not having direct contact with previous partners. It can create suspicion and outright jealousy with a standing partner.